A Serious Entry on Life, not Knitting

I'm alone this weekend with lots of knitting time, and no Ellen as she's with her father this weekend.
I didn't plan anything this weekend because I wanted to rest and enjoy my time off, with no obligations or chores.
But well, if you can just sit and knit (or sit and spin, and I did do some spinning as well) you can just let your thoughts run; and I did and I kept thinking about how it is, that we humans always want something else than what we have.

I realise I'm very blessed, in that I have a job which I love although I have to work hard, and with which I earn a lot of money. Also I have three kids, and though they can be a handful (two of them are teenagers with special needs) I wouldn't want life without them. Also, last but by no means least: my kids and I are healthy, I have no life threatening disease.

Why is it then that my mind, whilst knitting, keeps running on the same theme, how I'm feeling all lonely, that my marriage failed, that the man I've loved the best in my life didn't want to be with me, and how I long to have a partner in life who would love me, and who I could give all my love to in return.
BUT:
- I know that there are people out there (several of my friends) who do have a loving partner/ husband, but who have a very serious or even terminal illness, would I want to trade with them? Would they want to be in my place?

- I know there are people out there who have a good job and a loving partner but are unable to have children of their own, would I want to trade with them?

- I know there are people out there who maybe have a partner and kids but have a job they don't like, or maybe they're unemployed and are desperately looking for a job..would I want to trade with them?

- and I do also know there are people out there who are battling or even failing to make ends meet every month and who would love to have my wages... would they trade?

So I know I should just be thankful and happy, and I try.. I try to be grateful. I know I should. And it's not useful to cry over spilt milk or things I cannot have. I wouln't want to trade in my health, my kids, my job, for anything else.

But I'm sure this is true for not just me, but for lots of other people too. Instead of being happy with what we have or what's given to us, we are at times all envious of what other people have (or what they seem to have, because I know full well that not everything is as it seems - and people can project to the outside world an image of a happy family when in reality the truth is totally unlike that.. I've been there)

I don't know the right answer or how we can strive to be just happy with what we have. I wish I knew. For me, personally, I pray to God to help me be content with all the good things I have in life. For other people maybe it's found in meditation or self-realisation or another God, or maybe they're just sensible that way.

Guys, I'm sorry that instead of a knitting blog post, this came out...but I'm in a pensive mood. I'm looking forward to having my kids back tonight. And I'm also happy that Mark Tuitert won Olympic gold on the 1500 metres!